Why It Is So Difficult to Change, or Is It?

Why It Is So Difficult to Change, or Is It?

Today I would like to expand on the following realization I had a while ago about it feeling difficult to change. This is when I wanted to change something in ME but then my mind decided to ‘make it difficult to change’ by bringing up my past with all kinds of emotions, thoughts, and memories demotivating me from pushing forward with the change I wanted to undergo.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it is super difficult to begin changing myself, instead of realizing that it only seems so to me because of the amount of emotional- and feeling energy I have build up over time and formed multiple thoughts, and inner chatter that is against change, and so blows up bigger than it actually is to make an impression on me that it is nearly impossible to begin changing myself, instead of realizing that it can be as simple as taking a breath, making a choice to ignore the voices telling me not to do it, and then choose a point I want to understand or change in me and my life and fixate on finding ways to change it.

Martial Art of Self

When we think about all the things we need to change in ourselves, our thoughts, the way we react, our behavior, our automated reaction to others or things in our reality it can become a bit daunting, and we may start to lose confidence in our ability to change.

When Old Habits Try To Make It More Difficult to Change

Today I felt like that again. My mind was all over the place. Old emotional reactions started activating. Old ways of thinking plagued me again. Behaviors I already successfully changed in the past took the better of me again. And soon I found myself in a mess of my old-self.

I didn’t want to do anything. I felt like I cannot change or be different because the voice of self-diminishment inside me told me so.

Making It More Difficult Than It Has To Be

But then later in the day I came back to my sense. I reminded myself that changing me doesn’t have to be more difficult than it is. And that I don‘t need to listen to the thoughts telling me I can’t or I shouldn’t.

Instead I decided to not listen to them. Instead I decided to just get up from my chair. I moved into my beginning position of doing my martial arts training. And I kept at that decision. I kept „doing something“ where „I move me“ to get out of the mind state I was in. Instead of „waiting it all out to resolve itself“ – because it won‘t unless I decide and act.

Lessons Learned

  • I do NOT have to listen to my thoughts and inner voices/dialogue which are discouraging me from changing something in me or my life BEFORE I even attempt it in the physical at all.
  • When I am already so far as feeling depressed or resistant to do something about the things I wish I could change in me or my world – I don’t need to stay in there just because I decided to feel that way some time ago. I can change the decision any moment I want. Just because I swiftly or subconsciously decided that I will be depressed, feel dis-empowered, or uninspired does not mean I have to continue as such. I can flip the switch and change my decision in any new moment. But it is ME that needs to decide.
  • Just because I decided something doesn’t mean I have to carry on with that decision. No. I can change my decision. I can make a new one.
  • Changing something about one’s self (self-personality) or life (world, relationships, job, etc.) can feel, and seem daunting in the beginning. It may be totally new to us. Or because we have all our past of not changing for so long stacked up against us. Where our mind, and our past literally become our worst enemies, always telling us how we can NOT do something. Thus, to not take that personally or believe it. To instead look past it, understanding that that is what it is doing. And instead focus on how we CAN change something. A change in perspective and focus. From focusing on what we can NOT do, to what CAN we do and HOW? And there is no limit to creativity here. No right or wrong techniques or methods, only more and less effective for one self.
  • We are quite skilled masters in making things far more difficult inside our minds than they actually are.
  • It is NOT so difficult to change as our mind may portray it to us. Thus to not allow our mind to fool us with such imagery, words or thoughts about it ‘being so difficult to change’.
  • Feeling motivated to change only when we are in a good mood will result in not changing when we are in a bad mood. So, deciding to change without allowing moods to affect us that much is a valuable practice.

2 comments on “Why It Is So Difficult to Change, or Is It?

  1. Maite says:

    Awesome post and some great reminders, also really like the format of this post with the lessons learnt at the bottom! Thanks for this, Aldin!!

    1. Aldin says:

      Thank you Maite!! 🙂

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